- My Worker’s Diary
After over a decade of Bush misery, Obama’s seeds to bring fairness to the workplace have begun to sprout. The Republicans took away my study grant, but Obama provided me a job to spread the word to my fellow workers in Appalachia.
When I finally found a temp agency that was not still in the clutches of Reagan/Bush I rejoiced with shots of amethyst. The remnants of fascism are still strong. When I asked if I could join the union right away, my placement worker just laughed and gave me more paperwork. The health insurance payments are a crime! When National Healthcare kicks in, they will be sorry. The wages are a crime too. I have three degrees and could really do some good to enlighten the other workers. Maybe I should just report from the belly of the beast as I work out a plan to liberate my oppressed brothers and sisters.
The campus bus does not stop at the plant. It is hidden in the mountains someplace, probably to hide the miserable conditions from the general public. I doubt OSHA even bothers to stop in since it is too far for green electric cars to do a round trip and everybody knows that they are just Nixon-era agents of corporations.
A caring person answered my posting to the community boards for a ride. She takes classes at the college and works near the plant. When she mentioned her five children I gave her some pamphlets for Planned Parenthood. She smiled and turned on some country radio station while she smoked Big Tobacco. I feel sorry for her and I cannot wait to share my experiences with her on the way back to campus. She works at a truck parts plant nearby. I gave her some more literature from my bag about the hazards of chemicals ignored by the EPA. I also gave her some information on government programs for green General Motors vehicles. Her truck was an ancient post WWII gas guzzler of the variety that should have been shredded in the 1970’s. I could tell from the shine that big Wall Street had her brainwashed into using even more toxic chemicals in her life.
The Capitalists have really brainwashed the people here at the plant. They are like zombie drones sitting in the Big Tobacco addict table. The vehicles of choice are of the planet killing variety. Big redneck trucks and ugly domestic gas guzzlers.
Looking forward to ten hours of pay while I write some poems and help others to see the true path to equality. These capitalists just do not know who they are dealing with!
Big Brother is still alive and well. I must have been outed by them and was stopped before entering the workers area. A worker’s supervisor said I had to go home because of my sandals! He sarcastically asked if I brought other shoes and I just laughed at her, then went outside to the tiny “non smoker” joke of a tent and waited for my ride. I got quite a few poems done on the iPad while on the man’s dime.
The nice worker who gave me a ride must have forgot she was giving me a ride back to campus. No doubt due to the toxic chemicals in her cigarettes and in her worker’s hive. I spotted someone with a city sticker and got a ride from him. We had a good chat and I identified the common sayings of capitalist victims around the world: “they pay good”; “I have a real good job”; “benefits are great”, etc. The funniest was “Obama damn near got us shut down, but my Congressman kept us open”. I am sure he really believes that. It got funnier too. He says he works on a machine that makes hundreds of thousands of items every day! I now nobody needs that many items. Capitalists always like to exaggerate their productivity and he has falling for their lies. I gave him some literature on how collective production is the most efficient production and he smiled as he spit Big Tobacco into a Big Soft Drink container.
I looked through my closets and found a long forgotten pair of wooden shoes. The irony was too delicious to resist, so they will be my work shoes while I continue my mission.
Some internet research revealed that the closest I could get to the plant using public transportation was about a mile away. If this place was such a great place to work you would figure the public busses would stop there. I decided to leave early and try to carpool with another worker when I got closer.
I thought I saw the woman who gave me a ride the day before, but those horrible planet killing trucks must be common around here. To speed up the process, I waived some food stamps to try to get a fellow oppressed worker to stop. One of them did, but he thought I had car trouble and did not want any food stamps. More brainwashing was obvious from him. He did not believe that the management of his plant made millions while he made nickels in comparison. He was so programmed that he thought I was not going to be paid for yesterday either, even though it is the law.
I brought some clove cigarettes with me to blend in at the Big Tobacco victim table. When I was about to sit down, I let my shirt open a little to show the Fidel t-shirt beneath it. They just looked at me like I was from outer space. Small wonder, since they were wearing NASCAR hats and Mega Corporation this and that. Someone asked if my shoes were “approved” and I asked “approved by who, some corporation?” Of course they did not have an answer, a sure sign of their fascist regime brainwashing and a need to be enlightened.
After a little while of enduring their poison for the cause, I lit up a clove. They gave strange looks and left as a group, all muttering something about new people that will ruin their quotas and mess up production bonuses. Yea, right, like any corporation really does that. It is all just a shell game to keep them oppressed and avoid hiring more people. Everybody in college knows this. I left some worker’s literature on the table before I left to go to work.
The corporate goons looked me up and down and said I was “allowed” to work. I guess my mini-strike yesterday did some good. We were ushered to a pathway intersection and ordered to exercise. I thought this thing went out with Hitler? Maybe they were trying to mimic the camaraderie of socialized worker’s conditions, but it was just a sham. If these Capitalists were really producing what they said, we would be exercising at our machines.
Some corporate goon pretended to be glad to see me today and I know he was looking at me for another excuse to send me home. Their experience of dealing with me the day before got the better of them and he paired me with a young worker. I know he was setting me up to fail. My instructor was a tiny woman who had no chance of working the heavy machinery surrounding us. We all know that women don’t get a chance in our society, especially in a factory. I just smiled, knowing how I would make his plan backfire.
As she spoke, I began to suspect that she was another corporate insider posing as a worker. She showed me how to load and unload the machines and bragged about how high her production was. She told me that If I got on as a regular, I would see bonuses and riches beyond anything at a union factory. I could not help but laugh aloud when she said old factory at this spot was union, but it went out of business. If only she knew the truth, that whatever was here before was shipped overseas by Bush and his goons just to destroy unions.
She did let a secret slip out and I am not sure if it was intentional. She claimed that all of the supervisors got paid off of our production and so did the managers. It could be true, and it would explain why they treat workers like slaves just like in the days of the Reagan and the Czars.
I needed a rest but I did not see any chairs at our work area. It reminded me of the Walmart horror stories Ezra Klein used to post on his blog before he sold out to a corporate newspaper. She continued to talk as she randomly went to different places around the machine and pretended to do things. She said the machines in our area cost millions, which had to be a lie. If they were that expensive, everybody would be a government certified engineer from NASA.
When I sat down in the lotus position, she laughed and told me I could not do that. I think she noticed how I was studying the machines and making notes. She told me to put my note pad away too and I could not use my iPhone either. The excuse was safety, but we all know what it was because “outsiders” were not to know what was in here. Little did they know, they were giving all of their secrets to an outsider!
As I watched her during the five hours before lunch, I saw what a scam this was. The machines ran on air! Air is free, but they are charging people for that too! The more I watched, the more I saw that this was just an expensive way to keep people from working. My Socialization Theory Professors were right. Every single thing in the industrial age was made to eliminate workers and provide comforts for the rich.
Instead of having workers scoop product into packages, seal them and box them, they had machines doing all of that! The few workers allowed in the factory were doing minor things, like putting empty boxes in and removing boxes. It was an upside down, backwards world! Heavy things were lifted by people and little things were whizzing through machines.
My teacher showed me how to put a pallet into the machine so boxes could be loaded on it, all filled by the Capitalistic job killer contraptions, then we pulled out the loaded pallet with a mini forklift thing. I asked why we did not get a fork lift for this and her lame answer was “the forklift operators pick them up later”. Those forklift operators must be connected to the corporate elite too. I heard they get paid more than we do, but they need a company certification. I checked later, there is no state driver’s license test for forklifts so it must be some secret plan for corporations to take over driving too. As soon as this is in my blog they will be exposed.
When we were “told” we could have a break, I went to and out of the way place to meditate. It was a nice area marked off by yellow lines. I faced Mecca, to honor my Muslim brothers struggling against Western Oppression, and assumed the lotus position on the clean floor. I learned then another duty of the forklifters, they were the factory enforcers. One of them drove up with the forks pointed at me menacingly while honking his horn. I stood up and moved aside when he looked like he was going to kill me. I unbuttoned my shirt to show him the Fidel image and he just shook his head.
After break I returned to my drone spot.
We only got a half hour for lunch. I could not believe all of the plastic utensils the workers were throwing away in the lunch room. Slaves of Big Oil every one of them. I opened my Chinese worker made insulated container and feasted on tofu and brown rice and was the only person using chopsticks in the room.
After lunch, my trainer found me and rushed me to the machines. She said a pallet needed to be loaded and I had to do it myself. Of course it was a trick. My pallet looked like the ones she loaded, but it could not have been the same. I could barely lift it and my shoes slipped on the slick floor. As I fell I felt a camaraderie with an African-American man on a PBS special, who fled to Cuba after his racist corporate zombie coworkers tried to electrocute him at his machine.
When I woke in the infirmary, the company butcher was finishing a bandage on my head. She gave me some pills for pain but I insisted to her that I only use holistic healing and I wanted to be taken to my Chinese doctor in the inner city. A supervisor came by and gave me some booties to wear over my wooden shoes. She said they had non-slip soles and I could rest until I felt better. She probably wanted me back on the front lines as soon as possible, and wanted me to look foolish with the booties. She handed me some corporate propaganda, something about being “productive” and all of the riches (bribes) the company offered to regular employees (drones). It even promoted the lie that we all know that anybody can become the boss if they just “work safe and well”. I know someone who is into corporate medicine, so I saved the pills for him.
When the other workers were taking their afternoon break, I went out for a smoke. Just the mention of the teachings of Mao and Lenin made them think I was auditioning for standup comedy or something. I was warned that the American worker had been brain washed by Rush Limbaugh and other fascists, but I never thought it was this deep. All they wanted to talk about was their gas guzzlers and lie about additions onto their McMansions, as if they really were in the urban sprawl zones. Some of the things they talked about were truly dangerous, like building decks. I asked if they had permits for the decks and they laughed at me, then went on to talk about how they “did not need a license” and “know what they are doing.” These poor people. Nobody should be doing that without a license and think of all the trees they murdered!
Speaking of housing, if this corporation was making so much money why don’t they have worker’s apartments right next to the factory? There is plenty of land around here with only a few squatters sitting on all of this land. Why do they talk about overtime? They are being worked to death instead of BigCorp hiring more people. It is clear, my professors are right, this whole thing is a scam and I am hearing the testimony from the victims. The machines keep people from working, the man makes the few workers they have not been able to kill work extra, they have to drive miles and miles uselessly, all for profits and mirages.
I wrote some more poetry on the iPad until the nurse came by the break table. She said I should have come back to the infirmary unless I was ready to go back to work. I asked her if we were supposed to be free and she nodded yes, but said I was her responsibility until I was signed out. Like I thought, she was just another corporate Nazi with a smile. I followed her back and got some literature ready.
When I was back in my cell, I asked her if she studied Chinese and South American medicine in school and she said no. I gave her a few pamphlets and an invitation to the next Worker’ Rally against Corporate medicine before I rolled over for a nap.
When my shift was over, she woke me and told me I needed to go see my regular doctor and get some rest. I was worried that I was taking up a bed for other injured or maimed workers, but she said I was the only injury that day. It must have been a lie and I worried about who may have disappeared because I was taking up the only bed in the room. She told me I should wear safer shoes to work and tossed around the names of companies known for exploiting Asian workers.
As I waited in the Big Tobacco tent, some corporate goons in training were standing around. I recognized them from the cafeteria at school. All of them business majors, like slave owning really needs to be taught in collage after the murder of Che Guevara for trying to free his people. They recognized me too and pretended to be nice. You know, the big friendly act. I asked what machines they used and they said they were interning, followed by a series of lies. Like they were all certified on all of the machines in their first week, now they are getting supervisor mentoring. I guess it pays to have connections. I have known lots of interns and did my share of peace group and radio station internships, I know they don’t pay. You do them to help for your cause. They tried to get me to believe that they were paid more than me, without a single graduate hour among them. They all offered rides, but I did not want to be seen in their obscene penismobiles.
After almost all of the workers left, I was able to hitch a ride with a maintenance worker. I did not notice the Jesus fish on the back of his truck until after he dropped me off. I did some good with him, since I made him late for bible studies. He tried to give me the propaganda that Fidel was as bad as Hitler and I almost got out, but it was early in the ride and I did not want to ruin my good wooden shoes walking ten miles back.
I overslept and called my supervisor for a ride. It took him an hour to call me back! I was frantic and near tears, hoping he would have some tiny bit of that christian charity I keep hearing about from the bible thumpers. In typical hypocritical jack-booted fashion, he told me I was calling in after the shift started and I needed to find better transportation. In other words, I was on my own. I called my temp agency and they took 2 hours to call back! When I told them that I don’t have a car, they said it was grounds for dismissal, because I said I had reliable transportation when I applied. I told them nothing was more reliable that a campus bus and hung up in a rage. I found an old roach and lit up to relax. A few hours later, the agency called and wanted me to come in the next day.
I remembered to drink some vinegar before going to the temp office. Just as I thought, they were going to try to bust me on a drug test! I just smiled as I peed in their little bottle. It didn’t matter, they were going to fire me anyway. What business is it of theirs what I put in my body anyway? They asked me about “masking agents”, as if they knew about vinegar making weed undetectable. I played dumb as them and said I do not attend theater productions of “Batman”. They told me I was fired because of “masking” and there was nothing I could do about it. I asked about getting paid and they said I would get paid for all the hours I worked.
I got my pay check and they lied. I only got 10 hours pay, instead of the 30 I earned. When I get done emailing the president, I am going to call Al Sharpton and every other person who fights for workers!
Update August 25th, 2011: See? President Obama daid the same thing as me. Check the video at 00:50.
"Anonymous" is a fictitious factory worker. This was written from the standpoint of the typical liberal as a factory worker. Inspired by “A Librarian’s Tale”, Reason Blog, 8 September 2005 and, of course, the Reason links to this Leftist tripe has gone the way of the internet memory hole, but this three-years later revisionist version is still out there. There appears to be a version on Goodreads.Com (as of Aug. 2011). If anybody has a link to a surviving original I am more than happy to link it here. I just liked the lofty ‘logical’ links that reveal a twisted partisan Leftist point of view. Some incredibly bad ‘facts’ were in the original, as noted in the comments on the Reason Blog. My favorite is the National Guardsmen carrying AK-47's.
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